1 Step Forward, 2 Steps Back

Even in America, which is considered to be one of the most egalitarian countries in the world and a "1st World" country, has people like these....

Item 1: http://www.thegloss.com/2011/03/02/sex-and-dating/smart-men-tell-us-why-they-date-dumb-women/

The comments on this are atrocious. Yes, the men surveyed might have their own opinions regarding why they want a "stay at home, dumb" gal and that is their own preference.
Here are the award winning comments: (/s)

It's obvious that the Male biology (and ego) makes us want to be the dominant one in the relationship, I think every guy admitted to this in some way. But I think Hedge Funder hints at an important point. The Female biology wants a mate that she can look up to or respect as her superior in some way. Otherwise she loses respect for him and with that goes desirability as a mate. As he says, "Every alpha woman I know wants to be with a man who is as successful as her or more so." Men do NOT need this. Every man I know, after maturing past sowing their oats as it were, wants a woman that can love him in a way that he feels secure in her love. Whether that's cooking him dinner, being there emotionally after a rough day at work, having intellectually stimulating conversation, being a partner in business, a travel companion, bearing him healthy children or simply being an affectionate lover all varies by guy. Whatever it is for him, that's enough. She doesn't need to be successful, smart or anything else.
So picture this: You're a semi-successful, attractive business man. You're not really aware of what that key female trait is for you, but your heart draws you to it anyway so you don't need to be. Now, you are drawn to both a waitress and professional business woman. Who is it easier to Get Noticed By? Who is it easier to Impress? (Yes we all want to feel like we are impressing you!) Who is it easier to spend time with? Who is it easier to fall in Love with? If, in this scenario, the guy would be just as happy with either woman, Who would you choose?

Women are like assets. Dumb women are easier to manage and therefore more valuable. It’s that simple.

Smart girls are the NAGGERS, which also causes stress.
Maybe if smart girls get to spend the man's money they'll shut up, actually I've seen it and no they still nag more than the stupid happy girl.

In short, dumb girls are easy.
No, no, they're hot and easy. You forgot the upside!

women certainly have become very mean to us men and stupid over the years.
perhaps that is why the bible says women must be kept subservient to men. I'm agnostic myself, but all things considered, the bible does seem like a good guide to living life well, especially for stupid people who lack the wisdom to know any better (ie, women)

I want to dominate the relationship (in a virtual way... she wont be my slave, but I like the feeling). Intelligent women wont take that. TURN OFF!!Women may sometimes be somewhat intelligent, but seldom wise.
You feminists want equal opportunities and pay? Okay hypothetically let's say you get it, but afterwards you will complain that your man doesn't make more money than you and that you WANT to feel inferior? Why don't you quit your job and start learning how to please a man then biatches, you can't have both at the same time, doesn't take a genius to see that.
You create your own problems and blame the man for them. Is it any wonder why you turn men off? The only option you rich ladies have is to equally do as men do and try to buy a boytoy, and don't complain about it because we sure don't complain about hot bimbos.

Thanks, someone had to express that sentiment. It's always annoying to read about men using women to bolster their egos.
But of course what you say is not true. Most women, with their backwards laws of sexual attraction, still want these men more than any others, despite the force of reason in the back of their minds telling them these guys have used many women and have a 99% higher chance of being infected. As anyone who's taken at least psychology 101 should know, this isn't just pop psychology.
But all women are dumb, don't you see?

Perhaps with dumb women there are less questions to answer when they date them and they can satisfy them with gifts and all.

#1 and #7 are spot on. Two people who work like demons won't have any time for each other at all. One person has to be the hunter, the other, the gatherer. Hedge fund guy is a bottom-line, brass tacks person who can understand this. It isn't so much what people 'want,' it's what workable, and what isn't, according to the resources and capabilities at hand.
Think hedge-fund guy is a bit 'cold? 'in his practical way of thinking? Think about it this way; if we didn't have people like him - people who are capable of cutting through the emotional fluff to the raw data that helps SOLVE PROBLEMS - we'd be screwed.
#7 thinks in terms of economics. Also a good way to measure things.

someone tell matt langer to shut the fuck up (matt was the only feminist on the thread)

I don't think this question is thoroughly precise but by the way it is ask I presume the answer would be "because it is less intimidating to the ego of the man, and less pressure on him to start anything with a easier woman. "smart women" tends to be corrective and takes it too literally" Dating is meant to be fun.
smart women have big ego's and are actually more stupid than "stupid" girls who have much easier lives shopping and playing all from just looking good and leveraging their power of physical attraction to the fullest. They are jealous that their schooling didn't get them farther in life than the lazy ditz that just used the age old method prostitution. They are jealous that they are uglier too I bet.

In my experience a woman has no use for a man she looks down on. If she's taller, or smarter, or makes more money, that's one strike against him.
Why would a guy waste his time when he's already behind on the count?


A woman can't love a guy she doesn't respect. If there are more 'betters' on her side than his, she will never respect that guy enough to love him. Period. End of story.
How many high-caliber, urban career women do you know who are dating high-school teachers, union electricians, or cable installers? None? I thought so.
Let' stop slinging the crap and get with reality. Nature is what it is. Accept it, or suffer.

No man of any substance dates a stupid woman for very long. However, only douche-nozzles like Matt Langer find women sexy because they retain vague intellectual qualities. Intelligence is an essential part of a LTR for me, but to call it sexy makes you tantamount to the biggest "fucking toolbox" I know.

2. Item 2: "Like A Girl" Video

Here were one of the comments that really got me down. Our world might be improving in terms of gender relations but if parents teach children that gender equality doesn't matter then it will go on for generations. You can just imagine this little boy growing up to laugh off feminism and not give another thought to what are supposed to be thought provoking commercials like these.

So we're watching the Superbowl. We'd already had one awkward commercial with the domestic violence "pizza" 911 call. But when this "like a girl" spot comes on, it just got real quiet. When it finished, it was like people didn't know what to say. There was kind of a pregnant pause between the ads. At the moment of maximum embarrassment, my son lets out this huge sighing type yawn. I put my arm around him and said, "oh yeah, me too, man." People lost it and laughed for a good two minutes then. (The commercials are just crap this year. What a joke.)

Men are stronger, taller and faster than women, we are better in spatial coordination and have a better sense of direction, we have better hand-eye coordination and more precise control of large muscle movement and we have a better sense of perspective, all this makes us better at sport, it's undeniable, in most sports top female athletes can't compete with their top male counterparts, so it makes perfect sense to say like a girl when it comes to sports.

Since these traits are hardwired into the female brain, did it ever occur to you (feminists) that from an evolutionary standpoint, females are not supposed to have high confidence and self-esteem?
There is almost always a reason for everything in this world being the way it is...
Did you ever think girls lack self-confidence for a reason determined by nature and that you are fighting nature?

 

 

You run, hit, fight, throw, etc. like a girl because women are physically weaker than men.
That's why in sports you have women's league and men's league.
Get an all female team play against an all male team in any sport, see who wins.

 

Lmfao "a girl's confidence plummets when they start puberty" What about males? the male suicide rates are way higher..

 

 

The way the little girls ran and punch kind of proved that they're not very good at it

 

One of the most annoying things for me is when someone tries to prove me, that I insult him/her but I don't do that in fact. Phrase "like a girl" is insulting for men, but not for women. If I would say "You wear like girl" to guy would that be insult for women? No! That would be insult for this guy. So why saying "You run like girl" is an insult for women?! I have no damn idea why.
Anyways, a few days ago I saw woman, which literally was running "like girl" and I thought this is very cute. Then I remembered this feminist bullshit, so I returned here to say what I think about that.

 

I disagree with this...Its NOT meant as an insult..its TRUE! That most girls do those things..its not a slam but reality...Stereo Types arent bad, they are reality...ONLY in the last 3-4 years have stereo types become NEGATIVE...Yes people get offended, it happens...cant please everyone...sorry! Our society seems to be losing the ability to laugh at yourself olr to accept yourself...

 

it's not a matter of insulting, it's scientific fact, girls are not built to be athletic. before puberty, we are equal to boys, after it we are not. when i was in 6th grade i could run fast and do pull ups, in 7th grade i could not.

Girls are sissies if my opinion and should stick to playing with dolls.

 

Why is it that Girls must want to be like boys? Everyone knows that in the early phase of life girls develop faster than boys mentally and even physically but then later their bodies change as do boys. This is normal and mainly due to testosterone. Please people can we stop forcing girls to try to be boys and boys to try to be girls. I am so sick of a homogenous society where everyone must be equally good at everything and no-one is allowed their own identity whether thats a mental identity, gender or emotional one. Everyone is different race, religion, gender etc all combine to make us a world of unique people. Please stop forcing us to all be the same and rather appreciate the wonder of all out uniqueness.

 

Why do you think that whenever something comes out to empower women, men have to always put it down and trivialize and dismiss it? What was your "favorite" comment from this, and what would your response be to it? What do you think about all of this.

On Sexualization of Indian Culture in America; How Non-Indian Men View Me

I know I have talked a lot about issues regarding India, but my blog is "Indian-AMERICAN Feminist" so I guess I should add some issues that are relevant to the average ABCD (American Born Confused Desi). 

Oftentimes I feel very conflicted when usually white people say they love something about my culture, especially men. I think that there is a stereotype that Asian women are very submissive and docile and I don't think that's true. I found this text and thought it would fit in well with this post: 




To start off, this is absolutely disgusting. If something like this happened to me, I would start feeling like a sex object every time I put on a "dimond". I think that there is a problem with sexualizing Indian culture and Indian women by non-Indian men. 
I feel conflicted because I do think I am mostly "white" on the inside, but having someone reiterate and call attention to my culture, and specifically in a sexual way, unnerves me and makes me uncomfortable. I hate that for some men, I am a fetish and what makes it worse is that I am the typical short Asian with a baby face and shy. They don't like me for me, they like me because they want me to embody the stereotype. 

And yet it is ironic that in my own home, I am desexualized. The Indian-American culture is remarkably similar to the Indian culture, perhaps even more regressive because parents are stuck in the mindset of what India was like 10,15,20 years ago. There is a post on FemWire about this, here is a specific part: 

The concepts of good and bad within Indian society, particularly when it comes to women and girls, are built around virtue. Ahem, chastity. This is widely known to be the case in India itself, where women’s lives and choices are largely restricted and controlled supposedly for their own safety. But in reality, these protections are meant to hinder their sexual freedom, not ensure their overall wellbeing. Similarly, the Indian American community and its values are not far off from this culture. The women are expected to be, and are viewed as, virginal and sexually submissive. The silence around female sexuality – everything from the onset of puberty to reproductive health to attitudes about sexual activity – is common in Indian American homes. And then young people take this with them into their personal and social lives, carrying stigmas about sex and judgment for those who break the rules. In this way, I was able to make the connection, even if only in the periphery of my adolescent mind, about what it was about me that was wrong. The curves of my face, my boisterous personality – versus many other Indian girls’ reserved studiousness – and my avid obsession with making mix tapes off of Hot 97: to other Indians, these things indicated something unrespectable and, indirectly, sexual about me. And it was like a stain that spread over the years.

Women of color were mostly unseen as partner options. And if we landed in the purview somehow, it was, at best, to be mentioned as perhaps pretty and then quickly dismissed (you know, the “Wow, you’re pretty for an Indian girl” line) or, at worst, to be ridiculed for our ugliness. This may sound extreme, but it’s the reality I lived. I undoubtedly stood out in this context – ashy knees in the winter, unruly mane of thick, black hair in a sea of pale midriffs and near-ubiquitous gold or platinum highlights – but I was also invisible. And that external gaze is powerful: the invisibility desexualized me.

After all these years, I’m single for the first time not in a collective setting of a school or university. I’ve finally come to see clearly the odd dichotomy I’ve been navigating of being seen as prudish and puerile and, alternately, overly sensual and almost dangerous because of the ways I step outside of that virtuous Indian woman trope, even if only in the way I speak, carry myself, and dress. I’ve found that I almost always worry that a guy is reading me in one of these two extreme ways. And I do an exhausting dance of guessing which one it is so I can counter it with the appropriate behavior. Only recently did it occur to me that this is not something I can control, that it’s not my fault. That realization in itself is helping me shut out the noise to slowly find the in-between – and with that, my authentic self.

Sexuality does not originate from your body, but the possibility of strange men’s sexuality is constantly in your mind, policing what you wear and how you perceive yourself.

What do you think about this topic? Any commentary or stories? Agree or disagree? Or how is it similar or different being a girl in India? 

Works Cited: 

Growing Up Brown: Desexualized and Hyper-sexualized by Zoya Haroon

(http://feminspire.com/growing-up-brown-desexualized-and-hyper-sexualized/)

Walking the Tightrope: Good Indian Girls, Race, and Bad Sexuality by Chaya Babu

(http://thefeministwire.com/2013/05/walking-the-tightrope-good-indian-girls-race-and-bad-sexuality/)