Friday, July 10, 2015

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"Men Eat Before Women", or Customs that Protect Male Entitlement

Even in urban India, there are still families who follow the custom of men eating before women. The women hover over the men, serving them, after having cooked for them, and the men lavishly eat. It is considered shameful if a woman lets the man get his own food, as he shouldn't have to do that.
What is this sense of male entitlement? And if one were to happen across on it, would she stay silent because it is a custom and their way of doing things, or would she speak out, even as a guest?

Even Swami Vivekananda said in his speech that,

"Then again, eating and drinking is all in the same category. We do not eat before superiors. Our women never eat before men, except they be the children or inferiors. The wife would die rather than, as she says, "munch" before her husband. Sometimes, for instance, brothers and sisters may eat together; and if I and my sister are eating, and the husband comes to the door, my sister stops, and the poor husband flies out."
http://www.ramakrishnavivekananda.info/vivekananda/volume_8/lectures_and_discourses/women_of_india.htm
                                               CLICK TO MAKE BIGGER
Here are some literary opinions on "male entitlement".

Endangered Daughters: Discrimination and Development in Asia (Page 127)

 By Elizabeth Croll
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The Culture of Morality: Social Development, Context, and Conflict


 By Elliot Turiel








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