Truths I have found compiled from different blogs and websites....(Part 1)
Basically I first of all don’t believe in marriage in itself. I mean
what do you expect that signing a piece of paper doesn’t bring you
closer to anyone!! Just putting that ‘mang Mein sindur’ n ‘gale Mein
mangalsutra’ doesn’t make a permanent bonding with certain person.
Staying under one roof doesn’t help you to fall in love!! Can this piece
of paper, mangalsutra and one bed bring two souls any closer if they
actually don’t want to??? Its all about your happiness!! If you are
happy to stay with a total stranger and spend your life trying to be
happy with him then you are most welcome. But if not then better walk
out of it. You don’t need to get married for staying happy.
Even if you say that people do fall in love over a period of time in
arranged marriages, I will counter you by saying that it happens because
they have to. They have no other options but accept what happens. It is
a kind of ‘forced love’. Love, whereas, must be natural. (But,
our society has a long way to go to start believing in and regarding
anything as such. We have to overcome many notions like, “marriage is essential for everyone”, “pre-marital sex is a sin”, “a girl is not the ‘possession of her biological parents”Â etc., to reach a phase where natural love is what leads to marriage).
I agree with all the critique against the unnecessary pomp and splendor
of marriages, the madness around ensuring that people DO GET married,
and the horrendous idea of arrange marriage.
They want a woman who is smart and educated but who will be willing to
put all that away at the drop of a hat if they ask her to.
This is so true! Sometimes the hypocrisy of the so-called “modern
families” kills me. On one hand they want their daughters to be
educated. And on the other hand they don’t want them to be “too
educated” as that would reduce her desirability in the marriage circuit.
They want their daughters to be independent and progressive. And the
next moment they want their daughters to give in to the whims of their
to-be husbands and in-laws. Its like raising a lamb only to slaughter it
My relatives say …”You have lived your life the way you wanted all these
years..now its time to get married?” How in the world is that the best
pitch for a marriage…you are making it sound like a freaking TRAP!
It must be a hypocritical society when the best choice it can afford
to its women is between child marriage, or existing forever as an
Apparently I am living in some Utopian country- because in my country
there is no curfew in hostels- students are considered to be adult,
mature and responsible people (men and WOMEN equally), so whatever they
decide to do outside the hostel (go for drinking party, date, dance
classes), they and only they will take the consequences if anything will
happen- I never heard about any case, that parents of the student sued
the university or college, because something happened to their kid while
studying there (unless some mad professor killed the student :p )- I am
a lawyer so I am up to date with such regulations and events. Second
thing- background check- of course it is very important for every
company to check the potential candidate, whom they are going to hire.
But checking the background of father (btw- why only father? Why it is
not important to check background of mother? Maybe father is recognized
Manager in some big corporation, but mother committed some crime?
Inequality, which is totally illogical)- such checking is totally
irrelevant- first of all it is violating the legal regulations about
privacy and protected data in my country, second of all- why should it
matter, who is my mother and father- from the employer’s perspective of
view only my data are important- my criminal record, my education and
experience, because I will be working for this particular employer, not
my mother or father. When it comes to activities and dressing of women- I
will say only one thing- you should start taking care about more urgent
problems in your country (corruption, female infanticide, poverty,
discrimination, terrorism, list is quite long) rather than the length of
woman’s dress- plus only uncouth, uncivilized, uneducated man judges
woman and her character and morality on the base of her appearance and
clothes. I am right now 27 years old, I was studying at one of the best
universities in Europe, during that time I was enjoying my student time-
I had many hobbies, I was going out for parties, to the cinema, opera,
for sport, dance, and also accompanied by males- nothing bad happened to
me ever, neither to hundreds of my friends (girls). Did I lose my
reputation, because I was renting single apartment or going out with
male friends? No, it didn’t happen. This is very good and important
article. It’s the high time for India to give up this patriarchal
system, which is the system of inequality and oppression, it’s time for
starting thinking out of the box, it’s time for mental and social
changes- only when society will change, than also stupid rule and
regulations will change. You want to ensure safety for women? Educate
your men, teach them that women are equal, human beings who deserve the
same respect as men, and deserve for the same freedom- freedom of choice
and living the life they want.