As you know I am in the middle of my own arranged marriage dilemma....I have talked about it at length before and my parents are outright pressuring me to move forward with the matches they have selected....criteria being theirs of course that he should be vegetarian, Gujarati , Brahmin and a doctor with distinction and very obedient to tradition and religious. They've never acted like this before so it's really freaking me out and I can't even get through a conversation on an unrelated subject without this coming up. My parents, especially mom has retro ideas about how girls need to be taken care of financially and protected so they think they are fulfilling their duty by finding someone like that for me. Of course they want me working but my salary s only seen as a plus to his. They even said they would be not be comfortable with me dating a lot of people because it's "not in our culture" to be with more than one person and then dump them and pick another. They also want the guy to be another "Sahara" to them for moral support.
It seems like indian parental love is expressed really different than American because my dad doesn't say he loves me but he says it by proclaiming that HE will only get me married to a doctor, no one else, only the best for his daughter. It is slow and subtle manipulation disguised as love and emotional blackmail, saying stuff like "the good ones are snatched up early" and "you won't find anyone better than him" and "don't you trust us? Don't you want to make us happy?"
I have agreed to an interview since they spent about $700 pimping me out and putting out matrimonial ads describing me as beautiful, essentially exchanging beauty for money. When I told my mom that she said "we don't say stuff like that" and "you fulfill each other's needs...it's not a transaction if we both get what we're looking for in each other". They basically said there's no shame in being a gold digger and it's My money too after we're married. Also they said they will give me $5 each interview. I have no interest in continuing further and I told them that not to get their hopes up even though they seemed more excited than me. I will post an update later.