Wednesday, June 3, 2015

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Does it feel like no matter what we achieve, we will always be judged on our attractiveness and "Femaleness" by men?

These are a few examples below: 

Here is an example of a subreddit where the members agreed that they clicked on it b/c of the girl, then stayed b/c of the cool thing. http://www.reddit.com/r/UNBGBBIIVCHIDCTIICBG/
Here a female rocket scientist was lauded for how well she could cook:http://www.salon.com/2013/04/01/ground_breaking_female_rocket_scientist_sure_could_cook/

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It feels like before we are even given a chance to explain ourselves, we are automatically seen as FEMALE or WOMAN instead of human by men. This is the exact same reason female infanticide is so prevalent: they are seen as female first and foremost instead of human. It makes me so made because when we are born, we don't have a fucking clue what we are! We just "exist". I didn't know I was female when I was born, I was a baby.

 It sucks that people dump all these connotations, previously held beliefs and their own biases on someone that is like a blank slate and hasn't even figured out who THEY are. And this continues as we grow up.

I don't think of myself as female. I just see "me" in the mirror. I feel sorry for men who don't...who don't think of women as having rich interior lives that rival their own and only think of them as stereotypes (nurturing mother, slut), accessories, or sex objects. (Example given here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Esa3R-YzTmo&t=0m24s) This dude clearly says, when seeing a woman, he sees her as a sex object first. And that is clear BS, don't give me crap about it being male hormones or testosterone. That goes into dangerous territory about men not being able to "control" themselves.

It reminds me of what my english teacher said about how men didn't know what went on in women's minds until the mid 1900's, they didn't even know if women could think or not. They thought it was "buzzing" like a bumblebee's hive. That's probably not true, but gives insight on how men thought of women.

The clitoris was not explored until recently, while the penis has been glorified for ages. Even in medical trials, most don't know how a trial will affect women because almost all involve male test subjects and how it affects men. Women are othered, feared and thought of as inferior in regards to femininity. And it's sad because I didn't have a choice in whether to be female or not. If I could pick, don't you think I would've chosen the "higher" masculinity? No one wants to be inferior.

Reminds me of this article where if there's a shortage of men, some women "become" men and are allowed to do masculine activities that women aren't, proving that women CAN do these things. It seems like women NEED to be thought of as delicate and fragile for the hierarchy to be maintained. Patriarchy would be obsolete if these "truths" were shown to be false.
Some of those "men" said they chose to live this way because they would have more freedom. Sucks when you have to identify as a man to be "whole", allowed to do things, and deserving of human rights.
And it's not just in backwards societies. This Tedx talk talks about masculinity and at a certain point, Tony Porter says that when he asked a football player how he would react if someone told him he was playing like a girl, the football player said, "It would DESTROY me". Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td1PbsV6B80&t=5m5s
Transcript Excerpt:

 I come to also look at this as this fear that we have as men, this fear that just has us paralyzed, holding us hostage to this man box. I can remember speaking to a 12-year-old boy, a football player, and I asked him, I said, "How would you feel if, in front of all the players, your coach told you you were playing like a girl?" Now I expected him to say something like, I'd be sad; I'd be mad; I'd be angry, or something like that. No, the boy said to me -- the boy said to me, "It would destroy me." And I said to myself, "God, if it would destroy him to be called a girl, what are we then teaching him about girls?"

This is the problem with being a woman, why it's so much easier to be a man. We're shoved into this bubble of "what men think we are". The worst thing about being a woman is how men define women. __ Other good things to watch: Missrepresentation (the documentary)

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